Pheromoning?
I literally can’t keep up with the men in my life right now. I sound like a total slut so for that, I apologise in advance. I’m really not. I must be ‘pheromoning’ or something. It must be that time of the month. Maybe I’m in heat? (Just like my cat.)
I tried to take a step back from The Dom and in doing so I apparently took another accidental step forward. We had another task for our game. I’m now two write-up’s behind. I think part of the appeal for him is reading in my words what the task did to me, how his directions and words made me feel. Y’know. Maybe I’ll work on those at some point soon. Maybe.
Plan B got back in touch too. Awkward. He noticed the new profile picture and shot me a cheeky message. It wasn’t long before we were kinda flirting again and before I knew it, he told me he was holding out for his rainbow girl — Me! That escalated quickly.
Skater Boy, which I’ve decided is probably an appropriate name for him, has started to become a little bit more of an interest. He’s trying hard, bless him. He’s not very good at the whole romancing thing though. He’s an ‘over-compensator’ (which is actually a very good name for him when it inevitably goes tits-up!), which means he wants to shower me with all the romantic gestures in the world, all at once. He keeps urging for a ‘first date’. I keep putting him off of course. I don’t know what I want so I would be foolish to go inviting yet another complicated man to the mix. He’s hot though. Plus he has a nice voice. He sends me voice messages sometimes because he drives all day and can’t type. It’s kinda cute. Although when he sung me a song he wrote many years ago during his ‘lyric-writing’ days, I wanted to cringe. Don’t sing to me. I don’t need you to sing to me unless your name is Ed Sheeran at which point, you can sing to me all the hell you like.
I think Skater Boy might be a little too poetic for me too. He’s just a little too romantic. He’s showing serious signs of being yet another Someone New and we know those kinda guys don’t work well for me. I need to find that perfect balance – a hint of the argumentative nature that The Director and Jock had but with the perfect amount of ‘lapdog’ about him like… Well, The Lapdog or Someone New. That’s what I need, someone right in the middle. Maybe Santa will bring me one this year? I’ve been a good girl and all…
I haven’t heard from The Director which, I’ll be honest, I’m surprised about. I actually figured he’d message me after the whole wedding weekend stuff was over. I’m disappointed in the lack of communication especially as he went and brought up the whole ‘genuine feelings’ business. Not hearing from him makes my life easier obviously, but it’s still disappointing. It just stings a little. I think my ego or pride has been dented a tad. It’s cool. Whatever. I have no need to contact him so I won’t. He told me not to anyway…
So yeah… That’s what’s going on with me. Nothing much. Some of this and some of that. Too many men as always but isn’t that what keeps life interesting? All them frogs I gotta kiss before I find my prince? All them twats in tin foil before the knight in shining armour?
I keep telling myself it’s just experience.
